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14 Methods and Mindset Tricks to Make you a More Interesting Conversationalist

14tipsshadowAudioProgramBeing an great conversationalist is a combination of mindset and methods. Luckily though you can fake it till you make it. Here I will cover how to 'steal' the conversation while appearing magnanimous, a sweet body language trick, applying economics concepts to increase the attention people show you and my favorite 'pick up line' to starting a conversation.

question
Start Conversations with a Question
You want to begin your conversation with a bang (first impressions matter!) so if possible start with an open ended question that is relevant to the environment that will engage your new friends.

pick up lineThe best 'pick up line' to begin an interesting conversation
Line: Pardon me. Do you mind if get your opinion on something...?
Follow this up with an engaging question, here's a few I like
• Can you recommend any unique cocktails here?
• Do you know this town well? Can you recommend a restaurant/bar, etc?
• Where did you buy that clothing item/accessory/cell phone?
• What do you think of this event?

Applying Relational Economics to Conversation
This is a very important concept to grasp so please pay attention. Imagine that your relationship is like a bank, you can make emotional withdrawals and emotional deposits to this bank. If the balance gets too low then the relationship is over or becomes very unpleasant. This applies to any relationship be it your mom or the person you just met at the bar. Here's some examples in a conversational context.

Emotional Deposit

Emotional Withdrawals
  • Affirming or agreeing with them
  • Positive body language
  • Use their name
  • Demonstrate you are listening & understanding what they are saying 
  • Giving an answer
  • Asking a question about them or centric to what they are discussing
  • A strategic well thought out compliment
  • Asking for their opinion
  • Telling a joke
  • Encouraging their ideas
  • Disagreeing with them
  • Negative body language
  • Talking about yourself
  • Asking a question about an unrelated topic
  • Asking them a personal question when it’s not relevant to the situation
  • Flattery or a disingenuous compliment
  • Advertising or selling to them
  • Lying

A brand new conversation is starting basically at very close to a zero balance, if you make too many withdrawals you’re done!

Get the Rest of the Article - 11 More Tips

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Jonathan Roseland jroseland
  • bio:
    The inventor of the most clever cocktail toast ever, former participant in a bank robbery, almost died underwater twice, raconteur & marketing extraordinaire.
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